Coming Soon To A Computer Near You
Check that out! Now we are getting somewhere! I may have over done it a little (eat your heart out Tim Allen) but our recent internet troubles required serious action. The air card (basically a cell phone antenna) just wasn’t fast enough to do the audio required for our little radio show. This bad boy should do the trick! How did I come across such a fine piece of hardware?
Recently I made a post called, “State Of The Blog Address”, spoofing President Obama’s speech. I forgot Barack is one of my biggest Twitter followers! Within a week there was a nighttime space shuttle launch. Next, a van with “Your Tax Dollars At Work” emblazoned on the side showed up at the cabin with a bunch of high tech gear! Obama must have called in some favors. Marvin the Martion even showed up and installed the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator! Once it was all connected, I fired up the computer and promptly burned a hole through the addition! After pointing the apperatus little higher, a new internet connection was made.
We now have enough power to do the radio shows, transmit Honey Bunches’ lesson plans, and (as I found out by accident) manipulate the weather. Sorry about that DC!
All I need now is the next victim volunteer for the radio show. Anybody got a subject they would like to hear about?
State Of The Blog Address
My fellow bloggers. I come to you tonight, not with good news, but with the news of hopefulness. Hopefulness built on the last year’s failures. Failures that have taught us the correct path for the future. (you lie!) I accept responsibility for some of these failures, but we have to face the fact, the guy before me didn’t even have a blog. Therefore, due to my careful watch this last year, this blog is in much better shape than it was under the previous administration.
Recently a software glitch, a virus if you will, took out my computer. I received a letter from a boy in Indiana who had the same problem. “Why”, he asked “Should I face the burden of replacing my computer alone?” I agree. I am advising Congress too pass a bill requiring those who don’t blog to pay into a fund to assist poor bloggers just trying to make a living. (cheer cheer)
Why, in this country of “hot spots” and wireless coffee shops, is a working man required to settle for air cards and dial up service? In my America, all rural bloggers will have high speed access to the internet via satellite. (cheer cheer)
In closing, let me say this… Future generations will have high speed internet access. Not just the urbanites, but all Americans. (cheer cheer) This will prove our internet superiority and spread our silly stories to the rest of the world. Thank you. May God bless you. God Bless America!
