My fellow bloggers.  I come to you tonight, not with good news, but with the news of hopefulness.  Hopefulness built on the last year’s failures.  Failures that have taught us the correct path for the future.  (you lie!)  I accept responsibility for some of these failures, but we have to face the fact, the guy before me didn’t even have a blog.  Therefore, due to my careful watch this last year, this blog is in much better shape than it was under the previous administration.

Recently a software glitch, a virus if you will, took out my computer.  I received a letter from a boy in Indiana who had the same problem.  “Why”,  he asked “Should I face the burden of replacing my computer alone?”  I agree.  I am advising Congress too pass a bill requiring those who don’t blog to pay into a fund to assist poor bloggers just trying to make a living.  (cheer cheer)

Why, in this country of “hot spots” and wireless coffee shops, is a working man required to settle for air cards and dial up service?  In my America, all rural bloggers will have high speed access to the internet via satellite.  (cheer cheer)

In closing, let me say this…  Future generations will have high speed internet access.  Not just the urbanites, but all Americans.  (cheer cheer)  This will prove our internet superiority and spread our silly stories to the rest of the world.  Thank you.  May God bless you.  God Bless America!