Too Much Stuff!
If you haven’t noticed, there is a new “Swap Shop” section at the top of this site. I have been scrounging around looking at my old machinery for stuff to sell and thought why not sell it here! You got farm stuff? Put it in there! I don’t really care what you want to sell or are looking for, but let’s keep it rural. If you wanna sell Chinese import, I will delete it (you get what you pay for). For the rural and farm folk, use away!
You can list crafts, machinery, eggs, tractors, even whole milk! Just remember, this is a farm site. I do not help with shipping, trading, or laws, so be careful. Get plenty of information from the seller before agreeing to a deal.
I Am Kinda, Sorta Certain
“We are not having a garden this year”, I inform Honey Bunches. “That’s fine”, she says, “You have more than you can get done already”. I always have a garden, and I always end up mowing it down (along with the weeds) before growing season is over. This year, there is just too much to get done. There is no way I can keep up with a garden, the farm, and building a house at the same time.
“What are you gonna plant in your garden this year?” Asks my mom. “I am not planting a garden this year”, I say. She looks surprised. Well, as surprised as someone can look who hears the same story every year! This year I am serious. Winter and wet weather have my farm work delayed. I don’t even have the corn stalks disked under from last year. I am determined to stick to farm work.
I grease the old disk and air up the tires. Bouncing across the field, I am pleasantly surprised with the results as the stalks are brittle and turn under the earth easily. I get a 12 acre patch disked and head for the next field. It is getting dark as I pass the house and the old garden. I don’t know if it was me or the tractor, but the next thing I knew, I was disking up the garden spot. Dangit! Looks like I am gonna need some onions, potatoes, tomatoes, okra, peppers, squash…
I Can’t Get Nowhere!
While trying to farm and build the house, a song keeps coming to mind. Not a well known or overly-played song but, the lyrics make me laugh. Many of you will not recognize this “Tractors” song. Here’s a couple lines… “Oh Me Oh My Oh You, What’s A Poor Boy Spose’d To Do? It Takes All Night, There’s Somethin’ Wrong, To Do What I Used To Do All Night Long, I Can’t Get Nowhere, I Can’t Get Nowhere…” HA HA, Still funny!
Tomorrow’s plan is to finish cutting beans, haul out a load of corn from last year and hopefully start pickin’ this years corn. I need to sort the bigger calves off and haul them to the sale barn. I need to get my roof done. I need to sight in my gun for deer season. I need to fix Mom’s dryer. I need to change the oil in farm truck.
Oh Me Oh My Oh You…
Git Along “Little” Doggies
“We are moving cows tomorrow honey”, I announced as I came through the door. “Little ones or big ones?” asks Honey Bunches. Thinking about past cattle movings, I carefully respond, “Big ones?”
It’s not that my cows are dangerous. They are just a little unique. I don’t have any problem with them, but just like horses, they quickly learn when they have the upper hand. Honey Bunches is aware of their idiosyncrasies and gives them a wide berth.
I try to encourage her, “We are just moving them across the road. All you have to do is stand by the truck and they will run right on through”. Honey Bunches gives me that look. Yeah, that look. I probably shouldn’t have used the words “run” and “through” in the same sentence.
“I am getting my hair cut tomorrow”, she informs me. While I don’t remember her making an appointment, I let her off the hook. “Oh yeah, I forgot about that”, I say giving her an understanding look.
One Little Doggie
Dr. DooLittle, I Presume?…
“How do you get those cows to do what you want”, Honey Bunches queried. “Its all body language”, I explain. She presses me, “You mean you see what they wanna do and use that to your advantage?” “Not exactly”, I say. “I carry a big stick, if they get rowdy, I show ‘em some body language!” Of course, I was teasing her. She was pretty close to the truth in her analogy. She is just a little mystified by the fact that I talk to everything.
I wasn’t aware of my conversations with inanimate objects until Honey Bunches pointed it out. She originally thought it was cute. Luckily this got me married instead of institutionalized. Now, she is starting to wonder. “Who is out there,” she will ask. “Just me and the truck”, I reply, “Come on truck, you can start now”.
I watch the cows pushin the fence, “You better get away from there, you dang cows”, I holler. In my mind they hear me and are just ignoring me to be annoying. In reality, I am pretty sure they don’t understand english, but do understand they are cows. Therefore, their interpretation would actually be, “Blah Blah Blah Blah, Dang cows”!
I talk to tractors, boats, equipment, dogs, and all kinds of wildlife. Instead of running from a skunk once, I tried communicating with him. “Ok you skunk, don’t spray me now!”
He's a scary one!
Appearently skunk hearing is akin to cow hearing and he heard, “blah blah blah, spray me now!” This particular event triggered a stern warning from Honey Bunches. “No more talking to anything but people”, she warned. “You are right honey”, I agreed, “Gonna work on my blog”. “Thats great”, she says.
I type along happily until my internet signal fails. “Come on you stupid computer!”, I coax. “Who you talkin to”, queries Honey Bunches. “Nobody”, I says.
The to-do list
Today started as usual. Lots of plans and aspirations for to-do list shortening. The to-do list is a fictional character and only exists in my sub-conscious. Things I need to do, should do, can’t get done, the ying and yang of my daily life. Of course, by the end of the day, the to-do list had developed a mind of its own.
Goals for today; Move bull, catch weaning age calves, clear dirt from around terrace tiles, push fallen tree from bean ground, remove loader, get ready to plant beans tomorrow, call hay baling guy so can start mowing hay after bean planting, call corn haulin guy so can start emptying bin… ”Thanks ,to-do list, I will get right on it!”
Actual day; Put loader on tractor, move corral to other pasture, set up corral, push dirt in terraces, break hydraulic cylinder on loader, take broken tractor back to machine shed, get text message from brother-in-law requesting I go fishing, catch cattle in corral, sort out cows leaving bull and calves, try to keep bull from jumping out of corral with stick, run to get trailer before bull gets out, recieve text from brother-in-law asking why I can’t go fishing, get cattle trailer, change flat tire on trailer, load bull in front and calves in back, drop off calves,
You lookin at me?
take bull to new bunch of cows, remove broken cylinder from tractor, another text message from brother-in-law “can I go fishing tomorrow”, call baler guy and tell him I have no idea when I can start mowing hay, skip callin corn haulin guy… too late.
I give up on the to-do list for today. I have already doubled its content for tomorrow! Back at home, I have a good meal prepared by Honey Bunches. She tells me my cows were eye-ballin her today. She thinks they only like me because I am a man. Maybe it’s because I brought the bull over! Time to work on to-do list for tomorrow…
Text brother-in-law, inform him I might go fishing, ask later.
New Toy!
I hate using that term to describe a piece of farm equipment. Since this particular addition will go from zero to 60 faster than I can bail off, the term toy applies. After years of faithful service, my old 4 wheeler bit the dust in a cloud of dollar signs. Understand, I have deranged cows who are convinced I have cow-napped them. I am pretty sure they have read the military handbook on escaping at all costs. With no horses, another ATV was needed.
Now the big decision, new or used. I searched the internet and found lots of adds for used ATV’s. The descriptions were normally something like; SUPER FAST-adult ridden, Never off road-in louisanna, It’s really an 800cc-put 500cc stickers on it to fool pink slip racers. OK, time for a new 4 wheeler.
I will not discuss the brand here, but last years model got the price into a reasonable range. At least as reasonable as an 80′s corvette, or 10 year old pickup with all the bells and whistles! Price is not the primary issue, just cow catchability!
Like a guard at a war camp, I cruise the road outside the cow pasture. They stare at me as if to say, “That’s not even fair!”. I picture myself surprising escapees as I fly over a hill on my new camo fuel injected peace-keeper. All is quiet though. I stow my new toy in the shed and head in for supper.
“Honey Bunches” asks how my day has been. “Tiring”‘ I say, ” Ready for a bath.” As I lean back in my easy chair, I take in the evening sounds. Crickets are chirping, bullfrogs are croaking out their best love songs. “Not bad”, I say to myself as I try to ignore the distant “MOOooo”.
No scratches yet!
