SPAM, take 1!

If you were an ezine subscriber, you got to see lots of these.  The decision to discontinue the ezine may have left some of my readers longing for the super-witty and amusing comments by, and to, my spammers.  Once a week, I shall continue the tradition by roasting a few of these pesky buggers here on the site.  Since many of you are not bloggers, let me explain a couple of things...

  1. While traffic and links are the driving force behind one's blog, comments are what the reader sees.  It is the out-front, what-do-others-think, someone-else-is-reading-this acknowledgment that people are reading what you are writing.  Legitimate comments can be hard to come by.  Spam comments...  Not so much!
  2. Like pirates, spammers constantly leave messages hoping you will visit their site, or better yet, post their comment so many will visit.  The trick is separating the spam from the good guys.  Sound easy?  Here are my stats so far for today...  2703 visits, 1044 spam comments.  A formidable problem.
  3. Software and a keenly trained eye quickly tell the good guys from the bad.  Comments that don't match the post, comments asking for your service provider(or other ways to hack into your site), or comments that are from sites that have nothing to do with your genre are good examples.

Once in a while I pick the best ones and shoot back a snide remark.  The names are changed slightly, so as to give them no credit for their efforts.  Here are this weeks winners!

Comment: hey all, I used to be just checkin’ out this blog and I actually admire the basis of the article, and don’t have anything to do, so if anyone want to to have an engrossing convo about it, please write on NOT, my identify is heather spammer

Response: Thanks for the comment about my chicken soup video Heather.  I would like an engrossing conversation about it.  Do I just need to contact you at HeathersLEDLighting or what?

Comment: hello, i’m a slightly aside point aol. i tenderness your blog design, got not many exactly the same desirable ideas, gratitude on behalf of polite section.

(these are my favorites, non-english speaking individuals with a translation program.  Try to decipher it... off point, etc...)

Response: I appreciate your comments, BuyUKGamesHere.com.  I am glad you liked the calf birthing video.  Are you making a video game about it?  I would tenderness that!

Comment: It sounds like you’re creating problems yourself by trying to solve this issue instead of looking at why their is a problem in the first place.

Response: Thanks for the response on my fencing article.  I can't help it if my fences are hanging limply, or my posts are falling down.  Keep up the comments, AmazingFactsAboutPenises.com, they are really helpful!

Comment: Just wish to say your article is as surprising. The clarity in your post is simply excellent and i can assume you’re an expert on this subject. Well with your permission allow me to grab your feed to keep updated with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please keep up the rewarding work.

Response: Thanks ThemePapersHere.stupid.  When I wrote the post saying my ezine would be available soon, I just didn't realize how it would affect future generations.  I am proud to assist you in your quest to bilk students of their money.  Next post, How To Spot A Scam!

More spam next week!

 

 

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4 thoughts on “SPAM, take 1!

    • I will be putting some more on soon. I have 6900 spams saved up. Will probably only have to look at 10 or 15 to find something ridiculous!

  1. This made me laugh. I love your responses. Dealing with spams is my least favorite part of having a blog. At least you've found a way to laugh at it though!

    • It's too bad I have to change the names, but I don't want to send them any traffic. You can't stop them, they just pour in. As the saying goes, "When Life Gives You Lemons"...

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