"How was your day?" I asked Honey Bunches (that's Professor Honey Bunches to you!). "Fine", she said, "Except lunch". Knowing cafeteria food is normally exceptionally tasty, I asked what they served. Turns out the fare wasn't bad, it was the conversation. The current media blitz of unbalanced correctness had invaded my poor wife's lunch break. The topic of the day? "Free range" chicken. That's right, members of the staff brought up the fact that "free range" chicken tastes so much better than regular chicken. Regular chicken?
We always had chickens around the farm. They stayed in the chicken yard surrounded by a picket fence. While that may be too confining for some liberal thinking, it should also be noted that the dog's rights were being stepped on too. He should have been able to eat all the chickens he wanted! We had a term for these chickens that pecked in the chicken yard by day and were locked up in the coop at night. We called them um... chickens. I am not sure what image is conjured up in these people's minds when they say "free range". I suppose they see chickens roaming a local organic prairie, being grass fed and enjoying a green life until some cowboy shows up to herd them into town in some kind of chicken roundup.
I never hear these people discuss the breed of chicken. Why hasn't the poultry industry used a page from the cattle play book? "We only serve Rhode Island Red Rotisserie Roosters" has a good ring to it. What about the size of the bird? That is never discussed, but it most certainly has the biggest effect on taste and cooking consistency. Haven't these folks ever cooked a chicken? Probably not, but they have learned a buzzword that is accepted as truth. They can appear to know what they are talking about by just agreeing with the misled majority. There is no need to learn any more about poultry, they have the fact!
Someday, I must go to work with Honey Bunches and get in on these hilarious discussions. For now, I better get those hens back into the coop. Now... Where did I put my chicken lasso?