If Jerry Seinfeld were a farmer, he would say, “What’s the deal with all these raccoons?” They are driving me crazy.  They dig cattle feed out of the feeders, they tear up my corn, but, this is to be expected in the country.  Recently I have noticed a behavior change in the local coon population.  I attribute this to a large immigration of city coons.

This brave new type of coon digs through trash, stays up late listening to loud music, and climbs over vehicles like

City Raccoon!

they have no curfew.   I have seen them, but haven’t been able to get a picture to post yet.  Probably because they sleep all day.   I know you are thinkin… How did they get way out here?!?  Well…

My mother works with a woman who lives in town.  (lets call her “Bambi” because she is mom’s boss)   Bambi catches raccoons and relocates them to the country.   I appreciate her effort to return things to their proper place, but I don’t collect fast food bags and put them in her city yard.   She hauls them out to someone elses property and drops them off.  I can only assume there are plenty more city folks ruining our farm raccoon values.

As Honey Bunches and I returned home in her car yesterday, a city coon lept from the back of my parked truck holding up his pants with one paw, and dragging a dented beer can with the other.  I guess it was my fault for leaving the trash in there.  Closer inspection however, showed my seat had been moved completely forward and my stereo presets changed.

If I knew where “Bambi” was dumping all these critters it sure would increase my income from trapping season this fall.  That is, of course, if the hide value isn’t ruined by the holes from body piercings and belly button rings.