“Facebook!  What would I do with Facebook?”, I leveled at “honey bunches”.   “It’s great”,  she explained, “You can connect with friends and stuff”.  Not having that many friends anyway, it piqued my interest. ”OK”, I resigned, “help me get going”.  We clicked on this, typed on that, and the next thing you know, I am on Facebook.

As per common useage; I added friends, looked up classmates, took quizzes, checked my IQ a few times, adopted a cyber kitty, threw in a couple pics, checked my IQ again (that can’t be right).  After a couple of weeks this Facebook thing seemed pretty cool.

As planting season on the farm progressed I found Facebook more annoying.  Coming in grease covered after planting 40 acres, I would diligently log in and give a progress report.  “About finished with corn”, I proudly posted.  The next day I would get a flurry of responses of how everyone already planted a row of corn, beans, and radishes.  Should I have explained it’s field corn, not sweet corn?  Nah, just fed cyber kitty and got to bed.  Besides had to get up early and start planting again!

When I noticed a problem with one of my peach trees, I researched and found it was “Peach Leaf Curl”. Turns out it’s an ailment that can only be treated once the tree goes dormant.  I let my Facebook friends in on my plight.  “Might lose a peach tree,” I solemnly post.  My “friends” lept into action.  I was bombarded with cyber peach trees and requests to join “Farm Town”.  A window popped up and informed me cyber kitty was in bad shape.  To bad kitty, time for bed.  Besides might get done plantin soybeans tomorrow.

Finally got done with those soybeans.  It was time for another facebook attempt.  I logged on, entered my usual “Great pics!”, “They are so cute!”, and “That’s wonderful!” in the appropriate places.  Must have said something right, someone said they “liked” this.  I had requests to join an 80′s group, a 70′s group, a hooker group, and a group that loves boy bands.  Six people I had never met wanted to be my “friend“.  Someone kept “poking” me.  My cyber kitty got ran over by a seriel bus.  I was advised that my “friends” are fans of everything from Stretch Armstrong to just being a fan.  I logged off overwhelmed and beaten.

I listen to the night sounds, crickets, frogs, distant barking, and “Honey Bunches” rattling pans in the kitchen.  These things I know and understand.  ”You know what honey”, I call into the kitchen, “I am gonna start a blog”.  “Thats great!”, she replies with some more pot banging.  “How are those preserves coming”, I ask.  “Pretty thin”, says she.  I feel sorry for her and admit to myself its my fault.  Stupid cyber peach trees!